HOMAGE – to my mother

MY mother left for her heavenly abode on April 06, 2016 just one year back. Remembering HER divine presence in this life of mine,  an Indian living in West Bengal (city Kolkata) express how she was compelled to leave her physical in a distinguished nursing home in Kolkata (EEDF-SRI AUROBINDO SEVA KENDRA).

This is just to express in which state we are still after sixty years of independence.
Kindly read and offer yours valuable comments.

A PRAYER SEEKING RELEASE
(not from disease but from maltreatment, negligence and uncaring attitude)

It was 4.45 in the evening. I just reached the hospital to see how my mother is where she was admitted 10 days before because of acute breathing problem. As the visiting hours of the hospital starts from 4.30 pm and ends at 7.00 pm so I hastily ran to see my mother first before consulting the doctor how she is. As soon as I entered the ICCU I saw the doctor sitting in the ICCU itself and updating the patient’s status who were admitted against her name. I got struck there, meeting a strange conjunction of four eyes — two of the doctors and two of mine. He gave a very blank look at me and said, please wait for some time today, there may be any ‘surprise event’. I sensed and felt the sentence but could not understand it thoroughly. I ran down to bed number C-11 and saw that my mother’s hand and feet was not tied with the bed and also the by pap that she was fitted with was not set that tightly which she could not bear or rather bore it with immense sufferings and pains. She was sleeping with her neck little tilted in a very very relaxed mood as if she is physically enjoying the beauty and happiness of the sleep, as if she is enjoying this sleep as a lifetime experience where she is absolutely conscious and powered with her all gifted faculties. May be she is in the mode in releasing her ownness over all her faculties, which so long she enjoyed as per her choice but now consciously offering all to the system itself to use as it wants which only bestows this sort of bliss where anybody and everybody can experience an inexpressible joy and ecstasy slowly and steadily reaching towards his/her own self—the convergence of the existential presence and growth during the lifetime. So blissful a state but shocking to all as her lustrous physical presence may be obliterated forever.
It all happened all on a sudden letting nobody know the cause of this serious disease. On March 25th, 2016 she felt little feverish with no symptoms of cold, cough or apathy towards consuming her breakfast or lunch. In the evening she was fine but as the night approached she developed slight breathing problem. The doctor was called immediately. Doctor Nandy came and checked her thoroughly and suggested two antibiotics along with cough syrup. As the doctor left the house I ran to fetch the drugs so suggested, as it should be applied immediately. I returned and thought that after my mother takes her dinner the medicine may be applied as it was strong dose, but by that time she has developed a total apathy towards consumption of any sort of food. We all tried to make her understand that she should take the food otherwise she will fall sick and the drugs that has to be consumed will become very heavy for her constitution.
Incidentally a brief introduction about my mother’s physical stature needs explanation, as she looks very feeble, weak and too soft to break or get fractured, but even though she looked that way essentially she was very strong integrally due to her mental set up. She quite often argued with the doctor when she was administered strong drugs by doctors that you people could not diagnose my proper disease so I shall not take any drugs suggested by you; you have come so simply check my blood pressure and general conditions of heart lung stomach liver etc. So sudden development of severe anorexia with cold and cough problems made all of us very stunned. We started wondering in spite of such care and nursing (as over and above ours observation she was round the clock monitored by two ayahs for last fourteen (14) years) and she herself was very alert about her well being what are the reasons that led her to such an indisposable state with total loss of appetite. After much persuasion she took some food and the drugs so suggested. Almost twelve hours passed but she showed no signs of improvement but underwent deterioration. It was alarming at that point of time, because by that time she has developed a roaring sound within her lung and heart which was almost audible from the next bed where she was laid rest. I asked my mother are you feeling stressed, a roaring sound is there within yours heart and lung—are you feeling more difficult to breathe mother. She said I am okay and if you feel that I am in danger then you can admit me also. I rushed to the doctor for his suggestion as doctor is not aware of her present condition that already a sound is heard while she is breathing both at the time of inhaling and exhaling. The doctor advised to start nebulizer immediately and detailed me the dose of nebulization. I started contacting the neighboring medicine shops who can provide me both the medicine and the nebulizer, and ultimately I got medicine in the nearby shop and he arranged the nebulizer for me after contacting his friend for my mother. So within one hour everything was complete and she was ready to nebulize. Doctor told to nebulize thrice daily. The man who came to fit the nebulizer showed me the process of nebulization and then onwards nebulization process of my mother started. I don’t know how far she was relieved but it seemed that she had pain to undergo the nebulization process. I asked her how she felt – was she feeling somehow relieved, she simply answered that to have breathing problems is more easy to bear than undergoing nebulization process. So the crisis slowly started settling down and as the time passed my mother lost her appetite towards food even the most favourite beverage tea which she liked was denied by her. But she had no fever. So somehow she spent the night sleeping with that breathing problem and I suggested the Ayahs not to take her to the toilet but let her use bedpan. In the morning the Ayahs told me that in the late night she had been to the toilet twice and had loose motion and after that only she has become very weak and unstable. Actually both the things happened simultaneously primarily she became reluctant in taking food while all the physical problems started developing because she was gradually losing all the resistances that her system provided to support her life system. It became critical and that state started becoming grave as the time passed. I rang the doctor and detailed him about my mother’s physical condition. The doctor suggested to nebulize her thrice and if possible four time daily to provide her the relief and regarding loose motion he said the medicine so provided will take care of the system. But the system remained at that state and showed no signs of improvement. In the evening I started moving here and there to get one chest specialist or pulmonologist who can attend my mother and give her some relief. I got the address of one renowned chest specialist and rang him seeking an appointment for my mother. He said that he can’t come and see the patient but he can attend if the patient is brought to her in the next day morning. So I fixed the appointment and returned home. By that time it was evening and when I went near my mother I heard that since 9am she has not urinated. So it became a cause of concern although she did not consume that much food both solid and liquid. I immediately visited one homeopathic doctor nearby thinking consumption of allopathic drug for urination may result in some adverse effect as she by that time was very weak because of her apathy towards any sort of intake. The homeopathic doctor suggested one medicine and I bought it and returned quickly to apply the medicine for her urine clearance. But after returning I heard that my mother has urinated on her own, so I resisted myself from applying that medicine. I went near her and asked her how she was feeling. She replied that she was just like before only. I placed my ear in her heart and found that the roaring sound is still continuing and she was unable to breathe normally but her state was not that she needs immediate hospitalization. At around 8 pm Prova mashi came (ayah who was attending my mother in the evening for last 8 years) and told me that she was having a huge strain in breathing so she may be admitted to the hospital or any other big doctor may be consulted for her relief. I asked my mother and she also said that let me get admitted in the hospital because it would be difficult for you (i.e.) me to manage me at the house. So, I got startled at her comment as just one hour back she told me that she was just like before. As the breathing problem may go worse in the night and it would be difficult for all of us to get the doctor and provide her treatment so I also thought let us contact one ambulance and take her to the hospital for admission. By the time we took decision to shift my mother for admission to the hospital it was almost late night. I talked with my brother in law and he within half an hour rushed in with the ambulance. My mother was prepared to get shifted but she sensed somehow that she may not return this time. She as per her inherent courage to build any situation as very steady while we slowly lifted her in the bedsheet where she was in rest in her bed at home to the ambulance. It was quarter past ten on March 27, 2016 when she was shifted from her bed to the ambulance standing in front of her house. That day nobody was there in the streets as a very exciting cricket match was going on between India and Pakistan. The ambulance drove like a meteor to the EEDF where my mother was admitted. It was almost 10.30 pm. The hospital authorities attached some advanced technological gadgets in her body which started assessing her blood pressure, heart beat and many other significant factors that determine the state of anybody’s physical condition. It seemed to me that the condition of my mother is stable and not that serious so I requested the doctor to admit her in some cabin other than ICCU/ICU but the doctor said that her heart beat is very high (142 beats) so she must be admitted in ICCU. The attending doctor showed me the list of specialist doctors attending ICCU at that time and requested me to select the doctor under whom we want to get her admitted. All the doctors available at that time were unknown to me and I was completely dark about their efficiencies and excellences in attending patients and conducting treatment. So, I selected Dr. Tanmoy Chatterjee as my mother’s consultant physician after knowing his age, experience and behavior. But now I integrally know that my decision to select that doctor was one of the main reason for my mother’s passing away. Now I understand that either the doctor has not said correctly about her heart beat or he tried to befool us by letting the hospital authorities gain some more money by admitting the patient in ICCU. After her admission in ICCU, we started understanding what the real strength of our renowned doctors is. Within few seconds, they came to us and told us what actually happened to her. I told him that she had bad stool twice in the early morning and since then she fell weak and started suffering from asphyxiation. Actually that was also not a problem but as the time passed she slowly lost her appetite and developed a roaring sound while breathing both inhaling and exhaling. The doctors were so bookish in their diagnosing that they immediately started treatment of her heart rather than chest. She admitted with a chest problem but the doctors started treatment of her heart. It continued for two days and by that time because of severe cold in ICCU she deteriorated greatly. Then the doctor started avoiding us and whenever we met and insisted him to say what is her disease he started naming different diseases in different dates and experimented all sorts of pathological tests which were not at all required for her betterment. So simply because of the wild desire and wish of the doctors my mother faced a disastrous time which eventually led her to death. Incidentally the most painful and distressing fact that disheartened us altogether was the wily and sly behavior of the doctor. Actually my younger sister is an NRI and is settled in States for last 24 years. She and her family came to India on account of mother’s ill health. The doctor somehow came to know that my younger sister has come. He started accusing me and our family indirectly to my younger sister expressing that she was highly neglected, having an ill health was under nourished and so forth and so on knowing fully well (as he was primarily informed) that she was of that nature since her birth. At this my sister and my brother in law got annoyed and told the doctor that my brother and his family only took care of my mother and she was provided the best possible support that was possible for them, and she was under two (2) attendants day and night both for last 14 years. At this, the intention of the doctor to infuse enmity amongst the brother and sister and his other cunning strategies failed which forced him to stop all sorts of experiments with my mother, who by this time only because of his ill will and mistreatment has gone very terminal and about to succumb any time if nothing extraordinary happens. ………. So that evening although it the month of April sultry hot and humid but to us was very cold and shivering as all the doctor’s in the ICCU expressed directly or indirectly that she was preparing her journey to leave her body silently and patiently. As they told us to wait for some time after the visiting hours so we all waited in a very dull state almost speechless preparing ourselves for the physical departure of ours beloved Mother.
Actually everybody is destined to leave this earth in his or her due time, still one who is a patient and undergoing treatment for survival by the doctors needs serious attention which my mother was simply deprived of. I don’t know the real cause of it but sometimes I feel that the appearance is one of the most important factor to get fair treatment from the doctors or the treatment center or from any other person expecting the service from them. As my mother’s look and my look is not at all impressive so for a long time we two are never accepted and respected by the persons or organizations or was never upto our minimum expectations. So now the truth which is most depressing part is that the doctors attend patients considering the patients formal look and secondly after assessing his/her financial strength. If anybody is not at all impressive look wise and his/her relatives are not that extrovert then it may be affirmed that he/she will definitely die, as the preferential treatment will follow to get the patient cured which in case of patients with critical situation will become highly dangerous and alarming.
The mother was a victim of that as you all know that when my mother got admitted she was not at all critical but the doctors and the hospital authorities were bent upon to do the business keeping alive the patient. Both of them never ever takes care of the patients survival issue but simply make money using his/her illness. It was lastly proved when we demanded the date wise detailed bill of my mother’s treatment. There we saw that my mother was attended by all types of doctors, intriguingly interesting was the attention by orthopedic, physiotherapist and psychiatrist. I mentioned these three only to make everybody aware that a patient diagnosed “pneumonia” after three days of admission was attended by all species of doctors proves that to provide treatment to ensure the life of the patient was no more the priority/agenda of the doctors or hospital authorities.
So I should say my mother was fortunate enough to accept her death as then she would be no more a victim of experiment in the hands of doctors and a resource to the hospital authorities to leverage their turnover. After eleven days the hospital authorities suddenly gave us a call at 4.30 pm that she is no more and we should make arrangements to release her from the hospital as early as possible. The hospital authorities don’t even care or are least interested to inform the patient party that the condition of the patient is very critical and they should attend immediately.
We ran just to witness her body lying silent on the bed as if expressing her inability to provide both the doctors more time to carry on experiments and the hospital authorities to make some money out of her existence. We waited for 4 hours more to get her body released from the hospital and finally took her body for the holy cremation after taking her to her house in 1A, Ashutosh Pally Extention.
Her fight for last ten days will be remembered by everybody esp. me as she somehow understood from within that she will pass away and because of that reason she dropped few eye drops while she was transported to EEDF on the first day on March 27th, 2016. From that night she fought with the authorities with her indomitable fighting spirit both with doctors, nurses and management people and every day in the evening she complained to me about their ill behavior, but her complaint and my protest was of no use as the doctors, nurses and hospital authorities were simply audacious to remain deaf. But when the doctors called us at the date of her death just to declare that she is no more they affirmed, with mild tone that really at this age with this strenuous ailment the way she fought for life which should be praised loudly and remembered. Thanks and Salute to her existence.
Thanks, many many thanks Ma……………… We all are really very sorry that we could not enforce discipline amongst the doctors who attended you… so I think that presently when old proverbs are made new it would be relevant to comment that it is not “Man proposes and God disposes” but “Man proposes and Man disposes” and the word God is simply used as a tool to cover up their inherent limitations and hardbound ignorance.